MONKEY BUSINESS
by Larry Skaja
This is a true story. Usually when a story starts with this phase you are reasonably certain that what is to follow is an embellishment of unblieveable and questionable facts. "Honest it is!" gives you even greater concern for veracity. But in the Skaja family, all you need say is " it happened to Jim (Edward James Skaja)" and its credibilty was certain no matter how outlandish the story. Jim's experiences were always extreme as if greater forces in the universe knew his good nature and would taunt him for thier own amusement. Similar stories about Jim abound but what follows is the keystone of his numerous trials and tribulations.
Jim and his many siblingss had the privilege of spending summer vacations in a cottage just north of the Illinois border at Twin Lakes Wisconsin. Summer always seemed long with so much to do. Things like swimming, turtle hunting, boating were daily activities. Another pass time was riding one of the two family bikes which needed to be shared by a herd of siblings. The cottage was located on lake front property at the end of a winding hilly road from the main highway. The receding glaciers carved out what became a layered descent from the highground to the lakeshore. It was always a challenge to pedal those overweight coaster bikes up and up to the top of Indian Point Road where the main highway traffic acted like a barrier. To proceed further than this was abject disobedience of family safety rules. No matter. It was not the highway that lured riders through the painful an exhausting climb to the top. It was the top of the hill itself. Once at the top, you could see both of the twin lakes and survey the long winding and hilly road that would lead the bikes back to the cottage at break neck speeds.
On the day of this occurence, Jim, one of his brothers and two neighbor kids(they had their own bikes) made the long trek to the top so that they could enjoy the thrill of its downward run. It was better than any amusement park ride and worth the time. Upon reaching the summit the triumphriant riders congratulated each other, aimed their bikes back toward the cottage and started peddling. Soon the peddling would be superfluous because the coaster bikes were going faster than any of them could peddle. Then came a little relief as the road flattened for awhile and then had a slight roller coaster type rise which slowed the bikes before the next downward hill would re-accelerate the riders to even a faster speed. It was here, during the slow up, that the fates decided to amuse themselves again at Jim's expense. Yes here is where a chimpanzee jumped out of the brush that lined the road and attached himself to the startled Jim. One minute he was enjoying the fresh breeze of the downhill ride in his face and in the next split of a second he was face to face with a real live chimpanzee with questionable breath. There was little one could do but ride it out to the flat stretch of road just before the final little hill to the cottage. His brother and his friends looked with disbelief at Jim and his new found friend. What to do? On to the cottage to show everyone what had found them. Here they are met by a mass of incredulous relatives and neighbors. As for the chimp, he found paradise. A whole new set of people to perform for and unending coddling. Mom (Helen Chmura Skaja) dispatched one of the older brothers off to the grocery store for provisions of bananas, apples,oranges and of course a leash. This little fellow was now one of the family and everyone wanted to see Suzie's ( Susan Buenz Robertson the first born grandchild), reaction. But,Suzie was taking her nap. This made everyone aware that the chimp needed a place to sleep so Mom assigned yet another son to go the garage and assemble one of the extra baby cribs that were stored there just in case we had visitors. And, after all we had a visitor.
But, the inevitable question reared up. Where did the chimp come from? There was an adundance of wild life in the marsh and woods that lined the road. Common sightings of racoons, rabbits, woodchucks, possums were routine. But a chimp? This prompted another brother to go off and search for the chimps real home and owners. We will not name this brother, however, Judas Iscariot, was a handle he wore for years to come. Off he went retracing the route of the bike riders. He said he was looking for more chimps but the "reward" was the true motivation. Somewhere between the cottage and top of the road he ran into carnival people who were searching for the chimp. They explained to Judas that a cage had been left open and the little critter took off on an unescorted tour. Judas,of course. imagined pieces of silver dropping into his pocket for the information he had, He led this search party down to the cottage where the entire neighborhood was enjoying the antics of our newest little brother. Little Suzie was up from her nap and not exactly impressed with her ugly furry cousin. But Mom, aka Nana, was holding court for immediate world. In less than an afternoon, we all grew attached to the little Bonzo but none more than my mother. Upon seeing the chimp's real owners led into the yard by Judas,the strategies were being formed. Could we sell the idea that this large congregation of neighbors had assemlbed to watch Suzie get up from her nap?Where could we hide him? How could we keep him? His owners politely walked into the crowd and stated " We understand you found our chimp." Then they explained how the carnival was travelling through and how careless they had been with the cage's clasp. No one from the crowd spoke. The chimps handlers asked again if we had found a chimp. At this point my mother who was not only extremely fond of the little fellow but had an investment of food, leash and an assembled baby crib stepped forward an sternly demanded.
" Describe him!".